Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
