We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
