He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
