So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
