Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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