i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I look better un-naked...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
