Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
