Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
