oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need water and some morals
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
