Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
