Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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