i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
