There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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