"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
