I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
