In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
