Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
