Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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