we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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