i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
