Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
