i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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