we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
