Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
