He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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