i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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