We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
