come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
