I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
