Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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