i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
