Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
