Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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