I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i believe in u and ur pee
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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