What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize