At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
