Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You have to summon your inner elephant
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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