well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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