I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
