You smell like a Billy Joel song
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
