you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
