did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
