Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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