I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
