To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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