I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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