genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
