You really coming over, don't trick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
operation harelip BJ is a go
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
