Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
