He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
