its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
