no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize