Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
