just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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