There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i out mim tonsoeep
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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