I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
