i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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