He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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