i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
