he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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