I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
