I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
