How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize