theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im holly from the hills drunk
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
