I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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