I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
