Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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