worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is Oprah even human
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
